I have recently had a few challenges to deal with. My husband can tell you that I don’t like to deal with conflict. I have found over the years that ignoring things won’t make them go away, but usually makes them worse.

I have read several books on leadership, but recently I read an article on dealing with criticism and feedback that has helped me in several situations recently. Being a people pleaser, I don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. I am also learning that truth doesn’t always feel good. The way the truth is presented is important and learning how to do that better is important to me.

Since we all deal with conflict, give feedback, and receive feedback, I thought I would share with you some steps from the article.

Three steps For Giving Feedback
Begin with a clear objective in your mind for what you want the discussion to accomplish.

1. What’s working?  Always start with the good stuff.
2. What’s not working? There are almost always ways to improve or even totally transform a situation. Approach this step with an upbeat attitude.
3. What’s missing? What behavior, skill, or action are you recommending. This step should be approached as “We can do this together”.

Three Steps for Taking Feedback

1. Listen Up! Don’t argue or take the “But that’s not true” stance.
2. Resist the temptation to prove them wrong. You can always get someone to call the feedback “bunk” And then you can decide not to make any changes at all.
3. Be open to make significant changes. You can change anything, anytime you want to.

This article is found in the September 2008 issue of Real Simple by Gail Blanke. These steps have even helped me with my children.

My friend Rachel recently guest blogged for Mandy Thomspon on Dreaming. I encourage you to go and read it. You will be encouraged by what she shares.

I am a big dreamer. I would like to think it is because I trust God to bring the dreams he gives me into reality. I can’t just sit back and dream and expect God to make it happen. He uses people like  me to make things happen.

Today, Noah my middle son and Bryan left for Washington, DC because God gave me a dream. Noah was born at 32 weeks (2 months early) with a staph infection. If he had been born 6 hrs. later doctors said he wouldn’t have made it.

For almost a year after Noah was discharged from the hospital, I did occupational and physical therapy with him daily. While doing therapy, I would pray over him and declare who he was and who he was going to be.

We had several difficult years with physical problems, but I continued to pray over him. Bryan and I stood and believed he was going to be amazing. Gradually things turned and Noah became a brillant child.

Last school year, Noah was nominated to attend a forum in Washington, DC. He will attend a dinner at the Embassy, meet with world leaders, hear a speech from Sean Covey, and participate in many other leadership building events.
Here is Noah this morning before he left.