Each year as this time draws close an excitement bubbles inside me. Not for what I will deny myself, but for what God will do in me. I used to think I was an amazing this or that, but I have learned through much pain I am truly nothing without the grace of God.

Paul is one of my favorite writers of the New Testament. Paul knew he had to deny himself to follow Christ. I have to let go of my own ideas, thoughts, and preconceptions to let God work in me.

When I hold onto what I know to be true, God cannot show me who he really is. I need to relinquish control of every area of my life to God and fasting helps me do this. If I fast and don’t spend time with God then I am only hungry and cranky. Prayer and fasting need to be paired together. Fasting helps me to deny myself, while prayer is conversation with God. Being still and listening is part of conversing with God. If I am always talking he can’t say anything to me because I won’t be quiet long enough to listen.

I plan on spending time being still and quiet over the next 21 days. I hope you find time to be still and know that he is still God.

It’s been a long time since I felt completely lost and out of place. Today I was there, but not for long because some amazing ladies showed me what to do and where to go.

We have made a change in our homeschooling and it is scary and exciting all at once. Last week we joined a Classical Conversations group. It is a completely different way of schooling my children with many facets for me to learn.

Several mom’s saw my glazed look and took me by the hand and helped me. Those same moms gave me their contact information and offered to help in any way. One mom even gave me her book with all the lesson plans because mine was on order.

Classical Conversations has a different method and many times feels like a secret language. I was scared and so was my son, but because of the support we experienced today we both know we can do this.

I imagine how I felt today is how many people feel when they walk in our churches. They don’t know anyone and it seems they are coming in right in the middle of something. We have a secret code language and sometimes even a special secret side hug. They feel awkward unless someone takes them by the hand.